The world of dating has flipped on its head in recent times. When the internet was still a new thing, and people were trying online dating for the first time, we all used to lie about where we met our partners. For some reason we all thought it was nerdy to say that we met on a dating website, so we’d make up some elaborate story about a mutual friend, or a chance meeting in a bar.
Fast forward to 2019, and dating has done a complete 180. From speaking to couples, it can feel like nobody meets their love match by chance anymore; we’ve become entirely accustomed to using websites or apps to do the job for us. There are babies in the world who’ve been born because their parents met through Facebook. Match.com once got so confident about its’ matchmaking abilities that it offered money back if it couldn’t find you a date. As of April 2017, 19% of all US internet users were using dating websites or apps regularly. That isn’t 19% of single people, that’s 19% of all people who use the internet in the whole USA, including all the people who are married or in relationships. Take them out of the equation, because we hope they’re not looking online for fresh dates, and you’re looking at a massive number of people.
Dating Apps and Websites
Now we do all our dating digitally, the whole process can feel impersonal and remote. There are questions about whether Tinder is bad for our mental health. Any woman who’s spent any amount of time on the app will probably be able to tell you horror stories, and at best you’re likely to receive as many strange or unwelcome advances as you are genuinely interesting potential partners.
Given the overwhelming number of dating websites, the creepy people hiding inside Tinder and similar dating apps, and the seeming decline in opportunities to meet people the old fashioned way, it can seem easier to give up. Sometimes, for women, it feels more likely that you’ll meet your enchanted prince on roseslots.com than you will in real life. At least if you’re playing the enchanted prince slot you stand a chance of making a return on your time and your money, and you may even have a little fun in the process. When you’re on a run of lousy Tinder date after lousy Tinder date, it can become costly, expensive, and dull. However, in truth, the two things aren’t so different. Spinning the reels on a slot game will sometimes bring reward, and sometimes it won’t. Dating is just the same. In both cases, the key to success is to carry on spinning the wheels to see what comes up.
If Tinder and your usual websites just aren’t doing the job, put down your phone, step away from the computer and try something new (or should that be ‘something old?’) and consider a couple of the tried-and-trusted ways of finding a potential new date.
Ask your friends!
Who knows you better than anyone else? Your friends do. Who’s likely to know other single people that you don’t? Your friends? Better than that, if you have a friend who knows both you and the person they’re setting you up with very well, they’ll already know whether or not you’re a suitable match. If a mutual friend recommends you go on a date with someone you know, you already have something to talk about to break the ice, and also a strong chance of having things in common. Friends are better matchmakers than a website could ever be. We’ve just forgotten to ask them to hook us up. Just because your friend knows you’re single doesn’t mean they know you’re ready to mingle. Ask them if they know anyone who’d be ideal for you!
Do something new!
Ever wondered why you never meet someone new and exciting in your everyday life? It’s probably because you haven’t tried anything new or exciting for a while. You can’t just carry on doing the same thing you’ve always done and hope that something will change; as Einstein is often misquoted as saying, that’s the way to insanity. Try a new hobby. Joining a gym counts, but so does any regular social event based around an activity. Take up reading, or creative writing, or learn a new language. Get out of the house and put yourself in situations where you’ll be around people you’ve never met before. Even if it doesn’t lead to romance, you’ve at least got a new interest.
Say yes more often
We don’t mean just to dates; you can be as picky on that front as you like! Say yes to new experiences. Think about all the times you’ve been invited somewhere but didn’t go because you were too tired, or you weren’t interested. We’ve all turned down the occasional cinema invite because we didn’t like the sound of the film, but that trip to the cinema could have meant drinks before or after, too. Those drinks could have meant meeting someone.
Similarly, take a trip out of the office to have a late lunch at a restaurant. Accept an invite to a social gathering, birthday or wedding for someone you don’t know that well, and wouldn’t usually plan on attending. Just say yes, and see where it takes you. By doing it, you’re opening yourself up to new possibilities.
Dating doesn’t have to be digital. Dating doesn’t have to be difficult, either. If you’re getting Facebook fatigue or Tinder tiredness, then stop looking there for love and look at the world outside your window instead. The old ways of finding a date still work just as well as they ever have. We’ve just forgotten how to put them into practice. So make today the day you do something about it. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to for a while. Suggests drinks with someone you’ve been meaning to catch up with. Take out that gym membership you’ve promised yourself you’ll get around to – and actually go. Real people in real life may not be as convenient as an electronically-delivered match based on your preferences and interests, but they can be a lot more rewarding if you’re prepared to work at them.